Like them, I too have entered into a very intimate time with God and, ironically, I’m actually in a wilderness… as in forest, as in the wild-rural area with possums, snakes, deer, Native trails, lakes and all. Okay, just so you guys don’t think that I’m in your local city park, I literally have no cell phone service, no GPS signal, and if I need to use the internet I have to walk to a designated area on a trail into the office building. Although I could’ve brought a TV, I decided not to. But even if I did, there’s no cable. I am here, as humbled as I can ever remember being.
So, why did I do this to myself? Well… it wasn’t 100% my decision.
About 2 months ago, I was up at like 3 a.m. randomly on the internet in my apartment in Atlanta. One click led to another, and I ended up on a “Green Job” website. Now, at this hour I was not in applying mood, but something told me to just click on the link. So I clicked away and saw all kinds of cool positions for environmental engineers, research groups, animal care positions, and then my eyes landed on the “Green Job” that moved my heart like I remember my heart being moved when I decided to quit my job three years ago to pursue my music career. It was the same tug, the same feeling as if I needed to do something important. If you ask anyone who knows me personally, they will tell you I have a special place in my heart for the color green, children, and the environment, and the job title just so happen to deal with them all, of course.
Although I can honestly admit that I did not feel like applying for the job, even if it was “green,” it was now 4 a.m. and I haven’t worked for anyone in three years. After going back and forth with myself, I finally submitted to the small voice in my head saying, “Go ahead and apply.” I typed up a decent cover letter, highlighted some interesting facts about myself and attached my resume to my email and sent it off, without any pressure. It was almost as if I just wanted to see if it was going to work.
Ha. Well, obviously it did.
So, here I am! I won’t lie, when I arrived, I questioned whether the voice in my head was God or if it was my own mind playing tricks on me. The week before I arrived, I can admit being in tears nearly every day, and it wasn’t because I didn’t want the position.
Why you may ask?
Well, although I love green, children, and the environment, I was crying, excuse me, weeping, because I was confused and, honestly, I felt betrayed. Here I am, 26 years old, and my dream hasn’t fully come into fruition. God what am I doing wrong? When are your promises going to come to past? Why are you leading me into the middle of nowhere, into a “green job” that seems to have nothing to do with what I want to do professionally?
The answer came.
“Because, you asked me to.”
It was the same voice that told me to apply!! I closed my eyes, with tears and snot running down my face, and I admitted to my heart, that this voice, was right. I did ask for this.
Let me explain. A long time ago, I asked God to take over my life. I prayed this prayer, over and over and over again saying, “Our Farther, which art in heaven, hollowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
When the answer came, all I could do was think about all the times I remember saying out loud, “God, I want what you want for my life because I know that you know ALL things and you know what’s best for me.” At the time, that revelation came so easily, I remember it flowed out of my heart like the breath I breathed. I was so assured that I made up in my mind I wanted the almighty God, that is, the God of Love, the God that was there before man’s existence, the God that is ruling the entire scope of the universe, the same God that led the Israelites of out of Egypt and Jesus on the cross, that’s the God I was talking to… I wanted that specific God to sincerely hear my prayer. And Look at that, he did.
So, as I’m in my wilderness, I am going to aim to still believe and walk in my destiny. I trust God. He knows what he’s doing. He’s been doing it forever. And I believe with all my heart that God, first created me and the desires of my heart. So, I have to now pray for the patience and wisdom to receive the strength to walk through my wilderness in FATIH. Believing without seeing, that’s the only way to become stronger.
Now, to most, it may seem like I’m doomed. “Prisci Polet, talented girl. Man, she almost made it.” I can hear it now. But, it is my utmost honor to serve as yet another living example of true FAITH in the highest God, the God who created the heavens and the earth. It’s my honor to humbly accept my life as it shows up because I believe that the prayer that I prayed a long time ago, offering my body as a living sacrifice will surely give glory where it is due!
Thanks for reading. I love you guys. Keep the faith as I keep mine. Pray without ceasing. Trust in the lord with all your heart and Lean not on your own understanding!! (Proverbs 3:5-6)
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